First of all, I am not native English speaker so please bear with me with langauage.
I've had various gastro problems for 6 years now. Last year it is slightly better than before but I have another problem which could be hemorrhoids, but I am scared to death and I'll get to the doctor in 2-3 weeks Let me explain, because this is the only link between me and other readers of the forum, so the better I try to explain, the more help I could get
First of all, I did have hemorrhoid problems before. First of all I have a external pinched one when I was 12 and I had one 3-4 years ago when I went to the proctoscopy (I am not sure if this is the right name, the stuck something in my anus and it hurt a lot and they saw what is inside). They didn't operate because I was half time through pain allready, they gave me something to "destroy" the blod clot inside.
My brother has terrible hem. problems himself, let's say more typical than myself, like a lot of blood. My fater also had hem. problems all his life. So that I can safely say I did have hem. problems in the past and I will I guess cuntinue to have them in the future if I live through it.
As my colon problems are not so intense this year (flatulence, once diahhroea next time constipation etc.), I do have a ANAL BURNING problem for a year now. After I go to the toilet, it just burs inside rectum like fire. I would not say it is a 10/10 pain on a scale 1-10, but it is deliberating because of it's place. I can not forget about it! Sometimes it starts immediately after defecation, other times can start half hour later and sometimes I am symptom free. If I don't go to the tolet for 2 days let's say it usually get's better. So it is not like I am in pain all the time for a year, but it is quite common to have anal burning. Hem. creams does not do any good to me.
When I go to the toilet and this is not new, I think this feeling is at least a few years old, certanly before I went to the proctoscopy, when I have hard stool and pass it it feels like it moves over some lump. But all the time after bovel movement, when I tighten the anal muscle again I feel like something is "going back" up the anus. Hard to explain exactly, but I think I am enough visual.
Last 10 days I have anal burning again, this time together with testacle pain. This may or may not be related to anus at all, at least I don't find the link on the internet. But I have to say I did have testacle pain 8 years ago for 2 years and it was killing me. I went to all sort of doctors (specialist) they found nothing wrong. So maybe this is not related at all. And the testacle pain dissapers at night and never wakes me up.
The rectal pain this 10 days is "as usual", but this days I feel like I have something in my anus. I gloved the middle finger with olive oil and found out that pressing on the front anal wall hurts a little and I felt at the end of my finger, that is let's says 6-8cm inside the anus, a lump. But I would not say it is one big hard lump. It feels soft and like a small grape on tree, a cluster of many small nodules, I think it is more correct to call a cluster of nodules that a lump.
Now I did have problems with external trombosed hem., but what is this inside, can this theoretically be hem.? I allways though hem. is like a hard ball not a cluster of small nodules together. I do believe that this "thing" is what is "moving" up and down a little when I defecate.
Today I had soft stoll, but when I defecated and tighten the muscle I felt like a sharp pain when the "thing" moved back. But the stol was soft... Can the hem. hurt this way? I allways thought internal hem. is painless and bloods easily. I do not have visible blood on my paper! TOday I was 100% certain I would see it, but there was none.
This cluster of nodules I felt quite some time ago also, it is not new. But today for example, it urges me to defecate but I don't go and when "self examined" in this half "aroused" state I felt there are many of the nodules, a whole cluster. When I am OK I can barely feel one or two higher up or sometimes even none. Today I think there are many and lower.
Sitz baths in hot water or sauna does eliminate the pain in the rectum and in the testacles, but not for long.
And of course Cancer is the first thing that comes to my mind and it is not an easy thought ANd yes, I am a worrier type of person, I did have panic attacks when I had nausea like 14 days 6 years ago... Anything that is wrong, I see cancer first I know this is bad for a human mind.
I didn't write for answers becaue only exam will give answers I hope, but just theoritising, do any of you see this problems simmilar to yours or simmilar to typical cancer symptoms?
I am 42, I do not have family history of colon cancer, I don't drink nor smoke. My stools are not thin (when I am consipated at least, when I have half diahhroeas hard to say), if I don't watch what I eat I gain weight. And there is no visible blood. But I do have urges 3 times a day to defecate this week when it burns me more.
My brother told me that apart from that he sees blood regularly because of hem. his anus burns a lot of times, but I could not find anal burning in the hem. symptoms over the internet.
So my main concern is if this cluster of nodes could even be hem. or more like: "this doesn't sound like hem. at all..."
I don't have any problems at night, somethimes this weeks it feels like I have something in my anus but I can not feel anything. EVen testacle pain dissapears overnight.
I certanly will go again to a doctor, but I got really scared because I don't know if the "nodules" are growing or they are just moving or enlarging and shrinking over time. I certanly felt at least too small of them more than a year ago.
Sorry for the long letter, I would be very happy of any of your thoughts. From some pictures of internal hem. I saw it looks like hem. could be a cluster of nodules on touch (it is soft not firm on touch!), but internals should not be painfull...