I can relate to how you felt because I was really nervous before my hemorrhoidectomy 6 weeks ago. I figure you already had your surgery, so am writing this in case someone else has the concerns you expressed. I had a hemorrhoid and it was the most painful thing I have ever endured. I couldn't sit or do anything. I tried natural remedies and nothing works (by the time you get to a hemorrhoid, natural remedies are not going to get rid of it). I went to a colorectal surgeon who injected me with anesthetic and cut out the hemorrhoid. Actually, the worst part was the anesthetic. I then felt relieved. For the next week or two, though, my anal area hurt a lot and it was very painful. The worst part was going to the bathroom. After a month, the area healed and the only problem was that a nasty anal skin tag was left behind. It bothered me, so I went back and had an outpatient procedure to have it excised. Pain again for 2 weeks to a month, I had forgotten how much it hurt. Worst part was - the anal skin tag was still there!!!! It was even worse! Ugh .... I hated that anal skin tag and was determined to get rid of it. I went to one of the top surgeons in NYC and made it very clear that I wanted a cosmetic procedure to get rid of it. I needed to be put under general anesthesia and the hemorrhoids were removed. After the anesthetic wore off, the first 3 days were the worst. I couldn't get out of bed. I could barely move or sit up. I couldn't walk. I was in incredible pain - I was terrified of going to the bathroom. I stopped eating to avoid going to the bathroom. I took percoset and stool softeners every four hours. When I did walk, I got a horrible rash on both but cheeks and had to use diaper rash ointment. After the first week, things improved. The pain was no longer unbearable. After the second or third week, it was definitely still bothersome, but more of an annoyance than terribly painful. For about 6 weeks, I have had leaking which is disgusting and smelly. However, it has gradually improved every week. I had the leaking problem with each surgery and it does eventually go away.
So I am now starting my 7th week and am not back to 100%, but the worst is over. My bowel movements are not totally painless or normal; I still occasionally need a stool softener; there is some leakage; but overall I feel pretty good. As for the skin tag, it is gone, hallelujah! The anal area looks and feels great. No more wiping and not being able to get it clean because of the tag(s) and protruding hemorrhoids. I read people's experiences and was horrified, especially that I might never be able to get rid of the hemorrhoid. If the 3rd surgery didn't work, I would have been resigned to my fate. I just couldn't go through with this again. I do not regret the surgery because I did get rid of the hemorrhoid and the anal skin tags. But each time I had this done, I forgot how terribly painful the procedure was until I was going through it. It is hard to describe but basically, every movement of your body (maybe except for moving one finger up and down) somehow stresses your anus. Going to the bathroom is the worst part. DO NOT FORGET THE STOOL SOFTENER. TAKE IT FREQUENTLY. Eat yogurt, liquids, apple sauce. Take it easy for the first few days. When you are going to the bathroom, it does feel like you are going to die. Take a Percoset 20 min before and you can do it. It's not as bad as you fear! The result was worth it for me. OK this is way more than you probably wanted to read. Good luck to anyone out there considering surgery!